When I thought about constant mental prayer and how one should be constantly praying throughout the day, I thought that meant a constant stream of words. I had heard prayer once described as talking to God, so constant prayer must simply mean an endless conversation with words. But I just don’t talk that much! And what about when I’m talking with other people? How could I possibly focus that much?
But then I had a little epiphany. What if… prayer didn’t always require words? St. Thérèse of Lisieux said, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward Heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.” I finally heard that. Having read it and heard it before, it had not yet clicked in my mind as to what exactly that meant until I read another quote that I have since (sadly) been unable to find. It said something to the effect of prayer as being constantly united to Heaven through the yearning of one’s heart for God and all things holy. All of a sudden everything made sense! All those times during the day when my heart felt pulled towards Heaven as I went about my daily activities – I was praying! All those times that my heart sighed as I entered a Church or read about something holy or saw a holy image – I was praying! All those times my heart felt compelled to reach out to someone in need and I responded – I was praying! Every time I looked at the sky and thought about God – I was praying!
The Youcat (a youth catechism recently commissioned and distributed by Pope Benedict XVI at World Youth Day 2011) is a great resource. It has a section on prayer, and it has a lot of great quotes about prayer in the margins. For instance, one quote by a French writer, Georges Bernanos, says, “The desire to pray is already a prayer.” This also helped me greatly, because when I am at prayer in Adoration or praying after Mass, I often feel distracted and wish that I could just be holy enough to pray! But holiness does not always equal focus in prayer. St. Teresa of Avila would get so distracted in prayer that she would never go to prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament without some spiritual reading with which to refocus herself when distracted.
I always thought that prayer – if you were really, truly praying – would come without distraction. But, ironically enough, it was those times that I felt the most distracted and the most unproductive in my prayer (even though I was trying really hard not to be!) that people have commented on how deep I appeared to be in prayer and how peaceful I looked. I realized that prayer isn’t about what’s going on in your head – it’s about what’s going on in your heart. Your head might be a whirlwind of distraction, but if your heart is at peace and you are desiring to pray, that is itself already a prayer that you can be drawn deeply into. When I can’t find the words to adequately express what I want to say, I often simply open my heart to Jesus and look at Him with love, knowing that He knows every little corner of my heart and soul. St. Paul writes, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words” (Romans 8:26). It is at these times that I have come to understand that the Spirit really does move within hearts and souls to help us pray when we have no words, particularly in moments of great sorrow or immense joy. As St. Thérèse said, prayer recognizes God and embraces “both sorrow and joy”. God desires us to pray to Him and ask Him for the things we need, but also to come to Him in prayer, sharing our joys with Him, thanking Him for His many great blessings.
When faced with the temptation to think that God doesn’t hear my prayers, or that my prayers just don’t work, it is helpful to remember that God answers every prayer with a “yes”, a “not yet”, or “I have something better”. I may either be asking for the wrong thing, asking in the wrong way, or asking for the wrong timing. God’s timing and plan is perfect. Time and time again when things have not worked out the way I thought or according to the timetable I had in my head, God has shown me over and over again that His plan is infinitely better. Ultimately, I would have it no other way because His providence causes things to work out in such a beautifully amazing way that I couldn’t have planned it better, myself.
In the Acts of the Apostles St. Luke writes, “They should seek God in the hope that they might feel after Him and find Him. Yet He is not far from each one of us” (Acts 17:27). The truth is that God is very near to each and every one of us, we have only to open our hearts. He desires to have an intimate relationship with each one of us through prayer. Prayer is like oxygen to the soul, because through it, we become more fully alive to the eternal truths that surround us. It enables us to draw closer to God and to grow in faith. When we grow in faith we are more able to understand the great mystery that has been given to us in the Eucharist, the very source and summit of our Christian life. Prayer helps us to give praise to the One who gave it all, and it helps us through times of trial and sorrow. Through it, we are made more aware of the eternal existence that we are all destined for, and it gives us perspective on the many facets of life.
We have a right to ask God for all the graces and blessings that we need because of Jesus Christ. He died for us that we may have all of these blessings, just because He loves us. The only reason we exist is because He loves us. Let us not let a day go by that we do not thank God for the many blessings He has placed in our lives, even for the trials that give us opportunities to grow in patience, love and holiness. Let us not be afraid to step out in faith and truly cast all our cares on the Lord, trusting in His goodness, and abandoning ourselves to His providence. Let us go before the Lord in prayer, and say with holy boldness – as Jacob did when he wrestled the Angel of God – “I will not let you go, unless you bless me” (Genesis 32:27).
Written by Catherine
