The Object of ALL My Desire

     Have you ever reflected on what you desire?  I am not asking what you think you want. That's different.   What we want may be superficial, unnecessary, or never come to be. What we want is often a nice idea that is fleeting.  If something comes up in our very busy lives that takes precedence, then what we want is easily forgotten in the blink of an eye.  On the other hand, what we desire affects us in a profound way.  It takes over mind, body and heart.  It is always there, at the center of who we are, no matter how busy or quiet our lives become.  What we desire changes us forever because it affects our passions.  What we desire affects our freedom, our intellect, our will, our actions and our ability to love.  What we desire consumes us.  Without holding back in the least regard there is only one rightly oriented object of our desire - God.  There are many ways in which God can be the object of our desire based on our state in life - vocation, prayer life, devotion, maturity, etc.  For many, when God is the object of their singular desire He is in reality the object of all desire.  So much so that every desire goes back to God, stems form God, and inspires the individual to grow closer to God and be obedient to His will with complete abandon.  With God as the object of all desire, our passions, freedom, intellect, will, actions, and ability to love are all rightly oriented.  With this we are then able to serve others, to see the face of Christ in all people, to repent of our sin, to seek humility and virtue, and to foster a deeper relationship with the Lord. 

     What we desire can lead us to joy or tangle us into a web.  The object of our desire is that which we long for and strive for the most.  That is why it consumes us.  When the object of our desire is God we find joy, the path to holiness and right relation with Jesus Christ and His Church.  When the object of our desire is anything other than God, taking the above into consideration, that object then drives all passions, freedom, intellect, will, actions and ability to love in a direction contrary to the Gospel message.  All desires that are not of God therefore lead the soul away from God.  For example, if 'Sam' desires money - that is to say, it consumes him - then it only follows that his lifestyle of mind, body and heart will be profoundly affected.  This person will seek money above all else and all other desires will go back to money and stem from money.  Because money is the object of that person's desire, all his capacities will this end so far that even the heart will be affected and Sam's loved ones will then suffer the consequences.  

     Have you ever reflected on what you desire?  A lot of people might not know what they desire because they have never thought about it.  For some, to truly desire God takes time and prayer because to have God as the object of all one's desires takes a lot of detachment from the things of this world.  Even when God is the object of all our desires we are still human and make mistakes.  It is not a free ride.  We will be challenged.  We will learn within the heart more than we ever thought possible.  We will be given opportunities to grow in new and exciting ways.  We will need to continually seek grace and overcome everything that comes our way by embracing the cross that Christ has chosen specifically for us.  

     Reflecting on all of my own desires I see that they all have a common thread - Jesus Christ and His Church.  It is with great joy that I say God is the object of all my desire.  With God as the object of all my desires I find them to branch out into many desires all stemming back to the single desire of being obedient to His will out of love.  I desire to love God and His children more each day; I desire to serve Him in every way I can; I desire the Eucharist; I desire Adoration; I desire to grow in virtue; I desire separation from my sin through frequenting the sacrament of reconciliation; I desire a deeper relationship with the Immaculate and Sacred Hearts; I desire to be espoused to Christ, and I desire humility.  All these desires consume my heart; I pray and strive for them constantly.  That's the beauty of desire.  It is a heartfelt longing that burns within you for a particular good.  Even when you attain that good the necessity for continual conversion is ever present, and the desire only increases.  That is why desires separated from the freedom of God's love and Gospel truth are so harmful to the soul.  Going back to the example of Sam, the more money he gets the more he desires new ways to get it.  This disorder of desire for things that are devoid of Gospel truth plagues many in our world today.  The result of desire in right relation to service and love of God always calls us to grow deeper, and the deeper we go the more full we become.  Devoid of this grace, the deeper we go away from God the more empty we feel and continually seek ways to feel complete.  The object of all desire is that which we long for and ultimately completes us in a certain sense.  

     About two months ago I had surgery on my foot.  Immediately following my surgery I was given instruction by my doctor to keep my foot above my heart for approximately 14 days to allow for the initial stages of proper healing.  During that time, I was so blessed with family and friends who would daily check on me, assist me, offer their prayers, send get well gifts, and bring me Holy Communion.  Each day I was able to receive Holy Communion my heart was filled with peace and consolation.  I am truly grateful to the Lord for providing me with the spiritual nourishment of the Eucharist during my initial stages of healing.  Prior to my surgery I attended daily Mass.  The Liturgy is such  beautiful gift, a blessing for the members of the body of Christ to come together to pray, listen to the Word of God, be present at the recapitulation of the Lord's Supper, and participate fully and actively in the Supper of the Lamb with the Universal Church.  After my surgery I missed Mass so much.  I was unable, because of my medical restrictions, to go to Mass for 11 days, and with every passing day I missed the Liturgy more and more.  That first Sunday I went back to Mass I sat in the pew filled with tears of joy.  The crying and laughing children filled me with even greater joy.  For the first time I felt as if they were laughing with all our guardian angels in thanksgiving for the souls who were there and crying for all the souls who chose not to come.  My heart was overflowing with joy at the unity I was able to share with the Church.  

     There is great unity in the Church, especially during the Liturgy, at which we join with the entirety of the Universal Church both on earth and in heaven and actively participate in the wedding feast of the Lamb.  When I sit in the pew at Mass I can literally feel it.  If you are finding this blog post and you have been away from the Church or the Liturgy for weeks, months, or even years, I invite you back.  Today is Good Friday.  Today Jesus died on the Cross to give us the gift of eternal life.  He would have died for you even if you were they only person who needed it because He loves you beyond measure.  Right now after suffering torture, mockery and death, Jesus is in the tomb.  Maybe that is how you feel in your life; and even if it is, be at peace my brothers and sisters.  We know how the story ends.  If deep down you know God is what you truly desire, or that you desire to desire God, the hardest part is that first step into the Church.  If it hurts once you are inside, be at peace.  True love for the Beloved pains the soul in times of joy and sorrow.  Let the Lord embrace you in love, heal you from your hurts, and shower you with joy and mercy.  

Have you ever reflected on what you desire?  I invite you to make a pilgrimage of faith this Easter and rise with Christ!

Written by Nicolette